Whanau vs whanau, for who’s benefit?

This morning I was thinking about gangster warfare in New Zealand and I created the title about midday and left it. Little did I realise that my two boys would have a physical altercation and fight one another, both in tears from the emotional trauma. This is one legacy that I had created. I had realised this as I was cleaning Kyle’s apartment, that I was here in Melbourne to fix the conflict that exists in my own family. Emotional scars are long lasting and it doesn’t take much for either of my boys to get upset. I spend most of my time umpiring between the two. Yet, it isn’t just Amani that Kyle fights with. He can act malevolently without provocation. He damaged my MacBook by throwing water in me and thus it. In the same unconscious period, he threw several items at me to inflict pain, simply because psychologically he was in pain. After all misery loves company. I didn’t react but now I’m without an instrument to finish an essay due in tomorrow.

I may have crossed the line from insane to sane but that doesn’t mean that the one’s that I love are going to be walking beside me. I’m going to need to be constantly interceding physically, placing myself as a barrier. The calm voice of reason.


I am fully responsible for my boys fighting. Thus, I must be the one to help them work through their own pain, relinquish it and let it go.


That’s the million dollar question as there are courses for horses. I have complete confidence in my capacity to resolve the issues in my family and I have too. I intend to spread it amongst across the globe and I need to start at home and get my own house in order. There’s no use telling everyone else that intelligence is required when I’m not walking the talk. As always, I know how challenging it is to walk but I love challenges, it’s my thing.


My father sheltered my brother and I from the Maori community and gangs. The Huhu’s gang from Mangakino is the only gang I was aware of until I was in my late teens. I’ve never paid gangs much attention. I recognise the need to fit in and our warrior ancestry is what makes gangs attractive.

My mother died in 2008 and my father had a stroke a month later. My siblings and I landed in Whanganui to saw our final goodbyes. Except my father died a year later, whilst I was performing in a Ray Charles gig. During the visit to my father, I met an older cousin on my father’s son Ronald, who’s own children and grandchildren were in different gang factions. That has always sat rather heavily with me. I now fully understand why it happens.

Time to take a stand

I will be honest and I will go out on a limb and state that gangster warfare is the global answer to racial cleansing. What better way to eradicate what is considered to be human riff raff than to allow gangs to kill one another. It’s cheaper to pay for a funeral than it is to pay for people to be imprisoned. If the authorities were interested in eradicating gangs, it would’ve been done. When the Christchurch mosque was attacked, gun reforms were immediately changed. Societal reforms can be implemented for gang members and their affiliates. No it isn’t simple, but it can be done. How? In New Zealand by imbedding Maori and Pasifika cultural pride into the fabric of society, not just amongst the indigenous but every New Zealander. If one looks at Maori and Pasifika people whom are considered to be successful and are thus important. It is only because they subscribe to a caucasian form of acceptance and are thus, considered to be successful. How many are applauded for being purely and simply Maori or Pasifika? I honestly don’t know.

Unfortunately, my gangster brothers and sisters have succumbed to society’s expectation of them. I recall years ago when I was feeling the pinch of expectation and how easy it would’ve been to subscribe to the Maori stereotype. However, back then, I was going to be damned if people were going to be right about me. Thus, I shirked the cloak of “Horidom” and strove instead to be successful in the eyes of the western world. Initially, I felt lost and knew there was something missing. However, now I no longer define myself by the limitation of cultural identity. I am of Maori and Scottish descent. My Maori ancestors are from the Cook Islands and Rapanui and Hawaii prior to that. The Scottish are a mix of UK and European heritage. I have lived in Australia most of my life and thus, I am proudly descended from many but live in the best country in the world.

I would love for my people to be stripped of the stigma artificial layer of patches which are a poor representation of people and who they are. Prison in its traditional sense isn’t the answer. However, there would be great benefit for gang members and their whanau from all the different gangs to be clustered together. The similarities would far outweigh the differences. I’m willing to put money on the only difference being the design of the patch. Then, everyone would be educated in traditional Maori and Pasifika culture but acknowledging our current Caucasian traditions. Equal not different and separate.

In saying that I need to learn both my language and culture and, it’s on my list of things I’ll do!!!!!!!!

New Zealand like all other countries is fractionalised because the divide and conquer principle is in play. This allows for capitalism and exploitation. One can’t make money if gangs don’t exist, who else will buy guns and drugs. Furthermore, if people felt good about themselves, drug and alcohol use would be minimal. Cigarette use which is a social interlude would also diminish, because people would feel comfortable talking to random strangers, just because they felt like it. Thus, the government doesn’t have a vested interest in stamping out gangs because it generates a lot of money. Sure, prisons, welfare and healthcare cost money but let’s be real, all of the government’s current administrations are futile.

Distractions aplenty

Te Tiriti O Waitangi is a big distraction, simply because it’s a constant focus on a past that is now simply an illusion. Collective New Zealand trauma. There are so many collective bodies of pain. One that most will readily recognise and acknowledge is the pain often afflicting most women before and during menstruation. I have a vague memory of it, but thanks to Eckhart Tolle, I acknowledged and surrendered to the mental anguish that would erupt days beforehand. It took a couple of years and eventually I became even-tempered. I can remember Amani accusing me of being premenstrual one day in 2014 or 2015 or 2016, when I was simply angry. At the time, I mentally recalled having PMS (premenstrual stress?) the previous month. That was the last time, I’ve ever been told that I have PMS because it’s never occurred again. It was a few months later, that it would be the last time I would be cranky from fatigue. I had been angered over something trivial and Amani told me to go to bed because I was tired. I had started to argue but, I recognised that I was exhausted so I immediately walked into my room and jumped into bed. Lights out!

Collective bodies of pain are rank amongst religion, cultures, cults, schools, sports teams, organisations and families. Everywhere there are humans and misery loves company. In New Zealand Te Tiriti O Waitangi is the collective mindstream that keeps segregation and racism poignant. People’s attention is riveted to it at the slightest provocation. It is politically correct (PC) to acknowledge and inference it’s use in job applications and government agencies but, what does it even mean. I always find it difficult to answer the question of how I incorporate it into work practices. How does one incorporate a piece of parchment that wasn’t signed or agreed too by all of my Maori ancestors. Furthermore, it legalised much governmental malpractice and the confiscation of land, persecution for speaking Maori and being Maori. Then clumsily future, now our past, Politicians will think it a mere case of throwing a few coins at people and hey presto, all gone, all better, all ?. Yet, people are expected to answer how to incorporate Te Tiriti O Waitangi into how they operate professionally. Hmmmm, I could have fun writing that script! Former New Zealand Comedian Billy T James wrote a number of skits about Captain James Cook’s landing on New Zealand shores and negotiating for land. I’d love to have seen how he’d tackle this PC climate of paying lip service to a notion. In Australia there was the lunacy of thinking that Christmas should no longer be celebrated. Stupidly, childcare centers, schools and businesses began banning decorations and traditional celebrations, in an effort to be more inclusive. To date there isn’t a single muslim or Buddhist or an other religious country that started celebrating Christmas to be more inclusive. Fortunately, that stupidity lost it’s flavour, as it became clear, nobody cared. Being inclusive means acknowledging everyone for their individual similarities. Huh? People are composites of their cultural similarities, each unique but clustered in sameness.

It would seem I’ve done a 180 but I was once incensed at how my ancestors were short changed. However, I’ve let the anger go and now I realise that New Zealand and every other country will only be great when it realises that being human is the common thread that supersedes culture, religion and politics.

2 responses to “Whanau vs whanau, for who’s benefit?”

  1. Tbh they choose to fight. My two big boys have a love hate relationship. Eldest looks for trouble. Second eldest tries to stand up for himself. I used to feel responsible for my eldest actions. But I’ve realised. That’s his choice to be like that. No matter what I say or do. You can only do what ya can. Never beat yaself up for there actions. ❤️❤️🥰🥰🤜🏼🤛🏽


    • I completely understand what you’ve said. However, after years of absorbing the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle who simply states that misery likes company. I created the diabolical chemistry between the two boys, which I created when I was completely in an unaware and unconscious state. Now, I’m switched on and aware, I know that pain can dissipate. If my boys are in pain then I grieve with them. Thus, my responsibility is to be the person that facilitates that and as always, charity begins at home.


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